Witty prose with a dash of Essex sass
You ever heard of my g, Moses? Ever wanted to climb to the place where he received the Ten Commandments from God? Ever wanted to see THE Burning Bush as described in the holy book?
Nah me neither but here’s a hike you can do that is a little off the grid and not as basic as my short stint in Yosemite.
Throughout this blog you’re going to see some images that are pretty cool (in my humble opinion) but I would never have been able to capture these if not for one thing, money.
What happened when 4 friends got separated on a night out in Vegas and didn’t reunite until the morning… Read about it here!
Speaking of which, the brochures Yosemite hand out are very informative, especially on the topic of hungry animals. If you encounter a mountain lion ‘hold kids up so that they look bigger’ not sure how sound this advice is? Also, if it attacks you ‘always fight back’. What kind of advice is this?! Ffs.
“In the same night I got touched up by a 17 year old, saw a girl chun in a bar, met America’s worst comedian and danced with the world’s sweatiest man.”
We snuck out through the back. We’d just had a lovely night together aside from the stalker, everything was fine right? NO, again, no. While your princess (me) was asleep the tinder man sent me these messages…
I saw some old woman, (who I’m going to say was at least 80) ride down Bourbon Street in a people bike wearing nothing but a bra and skirt blasting out ‘Move Bitch Get Out the Way’.
People had scooters, bikes, others were simply running for their lives with one guy screaming to his friend in a higher pitch than most little girls, “I CAN’T RUN IN THESE SHOES”.
A word to describe Nashville? Fun. Two words? Guiltless fun.
Even in the bouji-est of yaaassss queen bouji places it was happening…
Everybody gathered round waiting for the momentous occasion of opening the box. The man opened the box and the animals attacked.
…one of the first things someone said to them was ‘Y’all foreigners aren’t ya?’ Followed by, ‘So how much American pussy have y’all got?’
