L.A.: My Tinder Nightmare

Los Angeles, what a big friendly giant. Sort of but actually, not really. One thing is correct in that sentence, it was big. After my experience, friendly? Not so much.

First things first, people drive like arseholes in LA. Lost a coin toss and had to do the first drive in the rental car. Imagine never having driven an automatic 4×4 down a freeway in the pitch black– HA! I got proper stressed out and had to pull over because I thought I was going to chunder.

Covering the car up cos it’s so shit

Many other things have made me want to chunder on this trip, including the smell of our air bnb, which smelled like cat piss or cat food, who knows. Maybe don’t stay in Korea Town kids.

L.A. with its vast expanse excited us. We spent the night in our shitty kitty litter flat and were ready to face a day of sightseeing. So, what did we do? See the Hollywood sign of course. Or, try and see the Hollywood sign… multiple times… 3 times to be exact. We drove around the hills for ages looking for the trails. To be fair, we got a great pic with the sign and no one else was around (see below) so go exploring kids. Don’t be afraid to get out there and get lost.

1st attempt wasn’t bad right?

Now, if you’ve made it this far you’re probably wondering about this tinder nightmare. You’ve opened this blog for one reason only and it’s that. So, let me set the scene. It’s a Thursday night, you’re in L.A., you’re loving life after having just eaten the best Korean bbq. You spent last night in a bar that was far too edgy for you and that you were far too drunk for. You want to experience what Korea Town’s night life has to offer (the natural choice of course). What do you do? You get on tinder and ask for recommendations.

The food was AMAZING

We all agreed at the start of the trip to swipe right for most people in order to get good ‘local’ recommendations. And, it worked! For the most part…

Back to Korea town, a man messaged me on Instagram, who I could only guess found me on Tinder. I responded asking for the best unknown spot to go out to in LA. He suggested going to a speakeasy called Break Room 86 in Korea Town. Perfect, right?

No. Really, no. After drinking a solitary beer each whilst a 40 year old man tried to hit on KJ, we decided to check out Break Room. When we arrived they checked our Ids round the back of what looked like a pub’s kitchen fire door and told us to go to a woman standing just behind the door’s opening.

She took us down a corridor with lockers on either side, chairs, other random shit until we got to a vending machine. She opened the vending machine and it turned out to be a door! We walked through the door and were greeted with a swanky bar. Retro decor in the cool way, not the try hard way. A live band began to play later in the night, an ice cream van was outside and a telephone box had a secret doorway to a karaoke room!

Secret doorway

I thought wow, what a great recommendation so I messaged the man back saying ‘Break Room, cool vibe, you were right’. He then replied asking if I was there. I did not reply. He then sent me a message saying ‘Yeah I’m here, where you at?’ This is when I began to shit myself.

There we were, happily smiling the night away, playing some arcade games when the Tinder man walked in. I swiftly turned my head and pretended I was engrossed in Miss Pac-Man. I don’t know why I thought this but I thought oh, it’s fine I’ll just spend the night dodging him. That was so dumb. The venue was super small and intimate.

The time came, I bumped into him ffs. Had to go through the niceties of saying hello, how are you etc. As soon as that was over I turned straight back around to KJ, Jack and Georgia and started dancing. He stood behind us the whole time. Oh, also, can we just clarify something, HE CAME ON HIS OWN. Whilst we were LOVING the band, some of us a little too much, we had to leave.

We snuck out through the back. We’d just had a lovely night together aside from the stalker, everything was fine right? NO, again, no. While your princess (me) was asleep the tinder man sent me these messages…

HE TRIED TO VIDEO CALL ME 25 times. Needless to say I went for that block. Be careful gals. Get those glorious recommendations but do a thorough look through a profile before replying.

Ahhhhh it’s all funny isn’t it or is that borderline psycho?

If you thought that was weird, check back here for a blog on San Francisco soon because THAT was even weirder.

Jack enjoying the ol’ gamesssss
80s rock band we all wanted to “f@#!”
Living it up large on Venice Beach
Blu Jam Café (another Tinder recommendation but from a normal man)

Next stop ——-> San Francisco, California

Keep updated on the journey on Insta

https://www.instagram.com/justjennylamb/

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